Rants · Writing

Girl Scout Cookies Are Not About Your Political Tirade

I try not to wax political on this blog. And by all rights, Girl Scout Cookies should not be something that can even take a political bent.

But here we are.

You’ve seen the memes. GMOs. Planned Parenthood. DOWN WITH THE EVIL COOKIES!

Back up your personal bitch bus, get off for a minute, and listen.

1. First off, Girl Scouts of the USA is not in league with Planned Parenthood. If you believe that GSUSA is in cahoots with PP, you’re stupid. Sorry, but you are. For one, GSUSA is a children’s organization. Typically, organizations that deal with kids steer clear of things like sexual practices. Second, the GSUSA site clearly explains the lack of involvement they have with the girls’ developing sexuality and all associated issues. If you truly think that the GSUSA FAQ on this issue is propaganda, and that your belief trumps what GSUSA says because you read it on the Internet, then your tinfoil hat is on just a little too tight. I suggest an adjustment.

Why is this one such a hot-button topic for me? Why don’t I care if I offend people who actually believe this tripe? Oh, maybe because these crazy idiots verbally accost our troop of little girls EVERY YEAR telling them that their cookie sales support the murder of babies. Quite literally in those words.

Yes, people… I’m looking at you. You’re ugly, and you should feel bad, if you think it’s okay to “educate” little girls by saying such things.

If you don’t want cookies, don’t buy them. But keep your mouth shut, and stop spreading nonsense and scaring children in the process.

2. Girl scout cookies are not made with formaldehyde, cement, bug parts, ear wax, turpentine, or the tears of the devil, no matter what that meme says. If you want to find out the ingredients of Thin Mints…. read the effing box. No, they’re not GMO-free, all-organic and grass fed. They’re cookies. When you walk past my girls in front of the store, turning up your nose at the lack of perfection in that box, and then you buy a bag of Cheez-its and a box of corn dogs, you, my friend, are a hypocrite.

Why is this important to me? Because my girls notice. They see what’s in the carts of the people who verbally assault them for selling a non-perfect product. They see your hypocrisy in all its glory. At least you become a teachable moment? Whatever. If you don’t want cookies, “No thank you” is a perfectly acceptable answer.

So, why SHOULD you buy Girl Scout cookies?

Girl Scout cookies aren’t about your pet political agenda, and they’re not about your diet. They’re about the girls. Scouts learn five key traits during cookie season:

  • Goal Setting
  • Decision Making
  • Money Management
  • People Skills, and
  • Business Ethics

Sure, it’s true that in business you have to deal with all kinds. In a way, the assholes of the world who try to make cookie sales about themselves teach the girls how to handle said assholes. But in the last few years, it’s become all the rage… people read memes on the Internet and think that it’s okay to verbally assault children. DOWN WITH THE COOKIE! THE COOKIE IS PURE EVIL!

My daughter doesn’t benefit from your tirade, but she does benefit from cookie sales in a few ways.

  • Her troop gets the money it needs to do fun things like go camping, horseback riding, rock climbing, ice skating… and now that they’re older, they’re planning an out-of-state trip, or even something as exciting as going to Europe. They’re learning how to plan for their future. They’re setting – and achieving – lofty goals, as a team, throughout the years. They’re becoming confident leaders who will improve our world once they reach adulthood.
  • A large portion of the money from cookie sales subsidizes camp. Every year, when my daughter gets home from camp, I feel like she’s leveled up. Other parents have expressed the same sentiment. She’s more confident in her budding independence. She has found new passions and has honed new skills. She’s met new friends. Tried new experiences. She’s always filled with stories. Girl Scouts cookie sales make this experience accessible to most families, and the harder girls work, the more money they can personally make toward covering camp costs. If a girl sells enough boxes, she can go to camp for free. Tell me that isn’t a worthwhile lesson — teaching kids that hard work equates to tangible rewards.
  • Planning, strategy, confidence, personal assertiveness, task management, time management, money management, integrity, honesty… these are all ideals that my daughter has personally gained from selling cookies.

So no, they aren’t GMO-free, organic, calorie-free nuggets of godliness. They’re cookies. If you don’t want to buy a box, say “no thank you” and be on your way. If you want to support the girls but don’t want to eat the cookies, consider a Gift of Caring donation (usually donated to the troops overseas or to local shelters or food banks, each troop decides, so ask them). If you want a box of Thin Mints to plow through in a single sitting, by all means, $4 and they’re yours.

But please, think twice about posting those ridiculous cookie-smear-campaign memes. And please don’t verbally attack the girls. This isn’t about you. It’s not about your political agenda. The chip on my shoulder is bigger than yours. Put it away, and think about the girls.


20 thoughts on “Girl Scout Cookies Are Not About Your Political Tirade

  1. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! This is an amazing article and exactly what the world needs to hear! My daughter was a Girl Scout when she was young and now she has her own troop of young girls. We were just discussing the horrible need to try to educate these young girls on what to possibly experience during cookie sales. It’s so sad and such a pathetic state of this society that grown ups will verbally attack a child over what once was an American rite of passage.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m overwhelmed and humbled by the positive responses I’ve gotten today! It’s good to get this message out. I know people want their political agendas… I just hope this post makes people think twice before launching into a verbal attack on a group of children.

      Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

      Liked by 2 people

    2. When I read a rant trashing Girl Scout Cookies the other day, I couldn’t believe my eyes! The only comment I could come up with on the fly was, why don’t they also analyze Oreos and Chips Ahoy and our other yummy childhood staples? Maybe they’ve already done that, but the public reaction might have been less than luke warm. Ah HA! Attack the Girl Scouts! Easy Peasy! that’ll get the whole world’s panties on a wad! Thin mints are everybody’s favorites! A chocolate pill to… Sickness! Pain! Death!
      People who dig into lovable icons to turn them into something vile crave attention. All that sick, crazy blurb made ME crave was… Thin Mints! Bring ’em on!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. While I understand your point, I wonder if your tone undermines the message. I’m embarrassed to have this post associated with Girl Scouts. I certainly never want my daughter or her troop reading content like this or responding to criticism of the cookie program with this attitude.
    I think you make an excellent point but I wish you found a kinder way to convey your thoughts and frustration.


    1. I’m sorry you feel that way, but to be honest, we’ve tried “nice”. I’ve had plenty (like hundreds) of positive responses on GS FB boards saying that this is exactly what needs to be said. Has your troop been verbally attacked? Have you had someone tell your daughter that her beloved activity kills babies? Right to her face? If this missive stops even one troop from being accused of baby killing, I’ve done my job.

      And also, if you read my blog, I’m crass here. I write my way and I do my thing. There are quite literally millions of blogs out there. I’m sure one of them somewhere expresses this sentiment in a way you prefer. My readers take enjoyment from the fact that I don’t pull punches. The Internet is a wondrous place where people go to be offended. My daughter read this and said it was spot-on. The beauty of parenting is that you get to choose what you expose your kids to. That is… until some crazy person calls your troop of children “baby killer.” 😉

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Keep writing your way and keep doing your thing! I think it’s great and I think your piece here is right on. I got to this article by way of a friend who used to work for a GS council, as did I. We stand behind it!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. No thank you Shanan. I try to avoid ALL foods that include GMOs, high fructose corn syrup, and partially hydrogenated oils.Yes, I do read labels and kids should be encouraged to do that as well. Avoiding foods that contain these ingredients is one way to send a message to manufacturers that it is NOT okay to use unhealthy ingredients. Little by little they are getting the message and are changing. For your readers who would like to support a girls organization that is faith-based, consider donating to the American Heritage Girls which is an organization for girls 5-18 that embraces Christian values. The money I save by buying organic/healthy cookies at my local grocery (less that $4 a package), allows me money left over to donate to them! Its a win win!


    1. Thanks for the alternative for Christians, JoEllen. We are not a Christian family, but I’m sure there are those out there who are and appreciate the information. I appreciate the Girl Scouts because it *is* secular.

      Please be aware that “being a Christian organization” does not make for immediate perfection. Don’t be surprised if/when one of their suggested fundraisers doesn’t contain perfect products in our mass-produced world.

      That said, I avoid GMO, HFCS and the “bad” oils, too. I also know when to pick my battles. I have written to Little Brownie Baker regarding my personal concerns. I do not – will not – condone taking it out on the kids. They have what they have to offer. Again, this isn’t about you and your cause.


    1. Yeah, it’s nuts. Troops role-play how to handle comments like these. Fortunately, *most* people are really great. We had one today at the cookie booth, but she wasn’t offensive. Just wanted to scrutinize the ingredients list before not buying any. At least she was nice about it. This is just day one of two months of sales, though… hoping to maintain the streak of nice people 🙂


  4. At our booth today, while my 11-year-old daughter was holding a sign by the road, some lovely gentleman thought it would be appropriate to flip her off.

    Seriously, there’s at least one per booth.


    1. I haven’t seen the ones about Boy Scouts popcorn… but I bet they do come out. I just don’t see them because we’re not affiliated. But I always buy their popcorn, because it’s good stuff!


  5. Thank you! This is spot on and needed to be said! This year I am hearing about the inequalities between the money GS receives for cookies and BS receives for popcorn. Now I have to explain to everyone that it isn’t girls working for less money, it’s a difference in product and TRADITION!
    Thank you again and good luck this year. We have our first booth sale tomorrow.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I don’t have a political tirade about not buying the thin mints. I just don’t buy them any longer because they changed the ingredients and/or how they make them. Last I saw they were Vegan. I WANT the unhealthy version. I want the artery clogging thin mints. they just don’t have the same consistency. And I have tried the the same cookie in Indiana and Florida.. So now I just give a monetary donation when I pass them outside the grocery store


    1. Thank you for your support! Whatever way you give, it helps the girls 🙂 As for Thin Mints… they didn’t change the formula… the bakery just pointed out that they’ve always been vegan so we can tell people who want a vegan cookie. Believe me, they’re still the same crack-addictive delicious morsels of artery-clogging goodness they’ve always been. LOL!


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